重新找回自己

过去几个月真的发生了很多不如意的事。。身边的人和自己的都有。。

11月21日，女儿在家跌倒，搞到额头靠近眉毛的部分裂开了。医生看了说要全身麻醉才可以好好的洗伤口跟缝针。当时看着她被推进手术室真的很难受，虽然只是一个很普通的小手术，心里总是不舒服，忐忑不安，非常担心。。当时觉得自己很渺小，一点忙都帮不上，也觉得原来上天的安排真的不让我不服输。看看周围，原来还有其他的病人家属也跟我一样，在等着他们在手术室里的亲人，希望能平安的出来。。

当时心情很乱，很无助，在乱想东西。。突然我发现在一个角落，有一个人在静静的坐着，低着头，两手紧抓，像是一个基督徒在祈祷。。看见这个情景，想起了它：观音菩萨，希望女儿能快点好起来。我很少这么诚心的祈愿跟念经，但这是我唯一可以做的了。。1 个多小时后，女儿平安出来了。。

这次以后，我开始重新相信菩萨与佛祖的教导，也开始寻找这方面的书籍与资料。。发现自己做了很多与佛教违背的事情，也让我相信因果的循环。。

老歌的感触

刚刚停了几首中学时代的歌，才发觉自己已很久没好好的享受这个乐趣了。。

不知道是否年纪已大了，停起这些歌来，感触和各种记忆也不知不觉慢慢从脑海里浮现了。。不懂为何，感觉自己对这些老歌的歌词好像有了很深刻的体会，这是以前没有的。

觉得黄小琥的"不只是朋友"这首歌带来了很多感慨，也把心里的遗憾给翻了出来。。。
"没那么简单" 也让我觉得很认同歌词里说的，爱，真的没那么简单。就算现在结婚了，也觉得需要继续用心去经营，一旦放松了，两人的心就会疏远。。

光良的"若无其事" ，"如果你还爱我"
林忆莲的"如果爱情回来过"，"伤痕"
庾澄庆的"春泥" 
齐秦的"不让我的眼泪陪我过夜"，"无情的雨无情的你"

哈哈。。今晚真的太多感触了。。

Justice

After my explanation to my boss, finally he realize it's not my fault. I need to find all the documents and point out to boss in order to proove that it was the admin's fault.

Today also found that there are nobody to monitor and control the cars and lorries fuel usage in my company.

Bad day

Today was scolded by boss for not being alert when checking insurance premiums. Really feel disappointed with the boss attitude. Seems like he is same as other typical Chinese bosses in Ipoh.

I was blamed solely because the incident happened yesterday, while I was on leave. The person who made the mistake was forgiven, while the checking personnel is blamed!! So unfair!!

Feel disappointed with today's incident, and feel that every colleague is bad..a very bad working environment. Even those from own dept are not trustable.

My Next Goal

I've been here 2 years plus, but until now I still do not have a relevant job description. My main responsibility is to ensure the accounting function runs well. But I'm not allowed to access the company's financial reports.

Sometimes feel really de-motivated, as an accounting graduate with 8 years working experience in this field, now I'm actually being under valued in my current position.

I'm worry of my future, if I loss my current job, will I be able to pick up new jobs elsewhere? I'm feeling that my awareness in my job is decreasing, mainly because my current job is quite free, not much responsibilities involved.

I think it's time to re-consider my future.. :

1) Should I stay here ? Why ?
2) What is my next life goal ?
3) How am I going to achieve my next goals?

Car LED Lights Stolen

My car's LED fog light was stolen by some Indian fuckers, I think. My car was parked in front of my house, on Tuesday night (04/09/2012), and I found my LED fog lights are gone the next day morning.

Fuck....

Really pist off and angry....

Online Security

When people are so concern about online security, one aspect is on the computers hardware, they always forgot another aspect: the users.

Many users are posting their daily life online, etc blogs, facebook, twitters... they forgot how powerful the search engine nowadays, that every single word in the postings is seach-able by others.